I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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