I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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