I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
