hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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