I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
