Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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