Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
