Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
