Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
