i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
