So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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