I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
