okay pat passed out under dana's car
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Never joke about your clitoris.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
