somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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