Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
