just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize