he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
