I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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