I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
