So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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