i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
