i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
