you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
