This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
