she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
