I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
