Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
