after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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