oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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