Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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