I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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