Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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