you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
