i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize