Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
