Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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