as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize