What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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