she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the day after is always just damage control
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
