Kiss
Puke
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
