like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize