If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
