We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
