no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We got so high we made milksteak
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
