If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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