i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
