guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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