Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
