Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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