I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
