I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I will pee on everything he values.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
