Christians are straight up FREAKS
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
