dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
