I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
