Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
They are going to name an STD after you.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
