the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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