that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
