Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
