hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
