LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
