Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
