didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
