idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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