My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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